66.I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!!!!!
65. I wish I was a teddy bear, that lay upon your bed, so everytime you cuddled it, you cuddled me instead
64. baby i have an addiction problem.people say i shud go to rehab but i
always tell the m i don’t wanna go cause I m addicted to … YOU
63. Luv is a sensation dat is caused by temptation.a boy puts his location in a girls destination.do u get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?
62. I like your style- I like your class- but most of all i like your arse!
61. Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply! 7. I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!
60. Of all the babes ur my selection.please dont giv me a rejection.my teeth are clean for ur Inspection so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
59. If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?
58. north 2 north south 2south my best direction is mouth 2mouth
57. 8 qualities of a PERFECT boyfriend… Brave,Intelligent, Gentle,Polite, Energetic, Non-alcoholic, Industrious, Self-organised. In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.
56. He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dot com when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppy disk into her hot mail she screamed yahoo!
55. Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!
54. Viagra now available in eye drops, you don’t get an erection but you look hard!
53. T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network
52. I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!
51. He came 2 me 1 nite… explored my body… licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill… wen satisfied he left… I was hurt… DAMN MOSQUITO
50. In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.
49. Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don’t have!
48. I had a wet dream about you last night …. I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!
47. It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed just you and me…its not what you think its a cup of tea!
46. Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me…but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!
45. At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?
44. Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam
43. Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?
41. I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down, can’t wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH
40. come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me….enjoy me until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!!
39. I luv u- I luv u- I luv u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to me nightly. mDont be mistaken.now dont be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed
38. Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u… well get out of my way!
37. Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says “Dr i’ve got aids” Dr replys “U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby” Jelly Baby says “yes but Dr i’ve been sleepin wiv ALLSORTS!
36. A man go for blood test.nurse took his finger blood sample but cant find cotton.So she sucks his finger! He is so happy n he asks:”Can i get a urine test also?”
35. A woman standin nude,looks in the bedroom mirror n says 2 her husband, “i look horrible, fat & ugly.pay me a compliment”, her husband den replies “ur eyesight’s spot on!”
34. A boy n girl r dancin @ a Disco. dey kiss n stop instantly.d girl says 2 d boy “r u a mechanic?” d boy says“no y” d girl says“well get ya hands frm under my mini”
33. chicken and egg in bed,chicken has head on pillow smoking.Egg rolls over annoyed saying”i guess we answered that question”
32.A teacher ask”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”A child replies”feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screaming GOD I’M COMIN!
31. Little Girl:”Mommy I just found out that the little boy next door has a penis like a peanut” Mommy:”u mean its small?”Little Girl:”No its salty”
30. an essex girl has a car crash and an ambulance arrives.the paramedic asks ‘how many fingers have i got up?’the girl replies- oh no i think im paralised too
29. do u believe in love at first site or do i have to walk by again
28. if i said u had a hot body would u hold it against me
27. im really good at algebra but am having trouble getting your digit
26. My magical watch says you aren’t wearing any underwear!
Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast.
25.”r ur legs tired”? coz uve been running through my mined all day
24. There are 256 bones in your body! Would u like another?
23. if i cood re arrange da alphabet i wood put u and i together
22. ive lost my teddy bear…….do u want to sleep with me tonight?
21. is you’re father a robber ? well who stole the stars and put them in ure eyes ?
20. U gotta B a parking ticket or something coz u got the word FINE written All over ya!
19. you must be a good theif cuz you’ve stole my heart 51. I m no fred flint stone but I’ll make ur bedrock
18. HERE’S 10p GO AND PHONE YER MAM AND TELL HER YOU WOAN’T BECOMING HOME TONITE!
17. What sexual position do you have to be in to make the most ugliest kid?…. ask your parents
16. What 2 things in the air can make a girl pregnant? HER FEET
15. A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says “can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?” So a man takes off his clothes & says “iron these!”
14. Wots da closest thing to a womans period? ur salary! It cums once a month.lasts About 3 or 4 days & if it doesnt cum every1s in trouble!
13. Old chinese proverb says “man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok”
12. Virginity is like a balloon one prick and it’s gone forever!
11. Sex is like a pack of Pringles ! Once you pop you can’t stop!!
10. old versiona smile is a curve that makes everything straight new versionboobs r de curves that make something supper straight.
9. Recommended dosage of ViagraNew girl friend- no need .Old girl friend – half tabletmistress – one tabletwife – 2 tabs+whisky+blue film+ will power
8. Nipple Nipple dont be far, can I press u in my car. Up
above the chest so high, always milky never dry. Let
me suck you, dont feel shy.
7. Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your
Breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me
Take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged
6. The sky is blue, grass is green, harder the fuck the
Louder the scream, louder the scream the better the
Fuck, give me a ring u might be in luck
5. Q: Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A:A woman bcos she
lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2
Stones with the help of a crane.
4. A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
3. Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do.
MOM: Put Ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng. SON:got my nose in her armpit. Now what?
2. Rooster&cat goin over bridge,cat slips&falls in
river.rooster cant stop laughin.wats D moral?whereva
TherZ a wet pussy therZ a happy cock
1. LUV D WAY IT RUBS AGAINST D SOFT PINK FLESH N MAKES A
CREAMY FOAMY LIQUID AS IT THRUSTS IN&OUT,UP&DOWN,CAN`T
WAIT 4 NEXT TIME.LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH
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